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Standing watch on the threshold of the mundane and the impossible. For Mature Audiences.




Out From Under Me, Page 14

24th Dec 2010, 6:14 AM in Out From Under Me
Out From Under Me, Page 14

Author Notes

Zomburai 24th Dec 2010, 6:14 AM edit delete
Zomburai
Agh, the dialogue is just clunky at the end of this page. Couldn't figure out how to make it work, though, no matter how much I rewrote it, so this is how it stays.

Writing concise, efficient, natural dialogue is probably a punishment in some circle of Hell.


Comments


Peter Palmiotti 24th May 2011, 4:22 AM edit delete reply
Peter Palmiotti
I think your dialogue is high quality, I laughed at the last comment by Uche. Your crafting out some engaging characters as well as situations.